Dirrty Dancing

Have you ever had that one person that shows up at the most inopportune moment? Just there to fuck with your head and throw a wrench into your life. That person for me was Jay. He and I went out here and there. We’d ended our “relationship” a word I will use extremely loosely in this situation. He was nice enough. But I wasn’t able to fully commit to anything with him. We struggled with our power dynamic. For instance one minute he was really into me and I wasn’t about it. Then I’d be completely into him and he wasn’t about it. We’d go to art shows and a few times he had industry meetings i’d attend with it. But neither one of us seemed to genuinely want more from one another. This went on for over a year. Both of us having our “other relationships” throughout. But for some reason, every so often we always made it back to eachother. 
After Day 2 with my British mystery man from the wine incident, like clockwork Jay appeared. I remember the night so vividly. I was out to dinner with a few people. I felt a brush of my hair. Swinging around in my chair I looked up and saw a dazzling smile and a perfectly tailored suit. That was Jay’s MO. Now my strong option is that there are three types of men, classically handsome men, hot guys and just friends. Jay was classically handsome, my typical preference. He had perfect teeth, always dazzling. I happen to know he was serious about his dental hygeine. His hair perfectly combed, dark brown and full. I was a bit taken back at seeing him out, mainly because we have never once ran into eachother. He invited himself to sit with us and ordered a few bottles of wine to the table. We sat there quite content chatting away. In that moment I felt a connection. Maybe it was the wine or I was still rilled up from the previous date with the British guy. I decided to just leave the restaurant. A straight up Irish exit. By the time Jay realized I’d abandoned him I was nearly home. He called and called. I ignored. I was home for about twenty minutes before my doorbell rang. It was him! The first thing I thought was how the hell does he know where I live. I let him in and there on my loveseat he poured out his heart to me. It was moving and creative. Just then I remembered I am pretty sure I’d said the same thing to him one drunked night! I had to laugh. I told him he was welcome to the couch but that as far as he was getting. He wanted to know if I had changed my mind about us. Yes, he said us. I reminded him that us never really existed. He did leave. I kind of felt bad but I was tired of the routine. I don’t see/speak to him anymore. But I hope he is happy. 

Day 2

Late summer brings change to Manhattan. The interns on Wall street flee the city back to private schools upstate. The fashion world is putting their final touches on fashion week. As the nights get cooler and bryant park ends their movie nights on the lawn, the final street fairs are also wrapping up. The feast of San Generio. It happens every August. 
I waited impatiently outside of that bar in soho from the previous night. I remember being a little anxious. My phone was buzzing. It was him! “I actually can’t make it, something happened”. I responded that I knew he was clearly a liar because there is no way I got all dressed up for no reason. I also said something about hunting him down. A few seconds later he came walking confidently around the corner. 
I did a silent eye roll. He had on work out clothes. I knew he was coming from work but I thought at least he’d change. I greeted him with some pleasantries and tried to mask my disappointment in his wardrobe choice. We grabbed a drink and then headed over to the feast. Later on he told me I was much more talkative over text. I suppose I was just trying to take it all in. He did talk a lot. So I thought he was doing an excellent job at carrying the conversation. 
At the feast we strolled casually checking out the vendors. We shared a pizza. And then a hotdog. I expressed my love for condiments. He drowned our hot dog in what we thought was ketchup, turned out to be cocktail sauce. That along with some random guy trying to pick me up and then being extremely disappointed when he saw I was with someone, gave us a laugh. So we talked we laughed we strolled. Towards the end of the festival we found ourselves at a little bar on a side street in NoHo. He expressed his interest in psychology. I listened anxiously. But for the first time on a date I was totally engaged in a conversation. Meaning usually I nod and smile and sometimes pop in to give small feedback. However I was genuinely interested in what he had to say. At some point I went from having a bunch of energy to being completely exhausted. I asked to call it a night. As we were walking I swear we held hands but now thinking back on it I think maybe our arms were just linked together. Anyway I saw a cab and told him thanks for everything and literally ran away. 

So it was a little weird. But I was extremely tired and I wasn’t sure when I’d get another cab. In the cab I texted him about having a great time and us meeting up again. Later on. I found out after I dashed off he thought he’d never see me again. The next few days proceeded with the general texts you send when you’ve just been on a really good date. Nothing totally interesting but all very sweet. Its the games we play right? Still trying to figure the other person out. In between us seeing eachother for date two the next weekend. An old face showed up at my door….

Day 1

I was in a rut. In regards to dating. Dates, I’ve always had plently. Both organically and via online sites. However every time I met someone it was like this drunken dance I wanted desperately to end. Or we just couldnt communicate well enough with eachother and it fizzled out. Sometimes abruptly, a lot of times slowly. To be honest with you I always knew I’d find someone. But my definition of someone was not the Disney romance version. I thought eventually I’d meet someone who I could tolerate enough to build a life with. Not that I wouldn’t ever love this person but I seriously doubted me having some crazy romance. Call me a realist? However as a child of divorce I suppose romance has always seemed like a rediculous fairytale. 

It was mid september. The night was perfect. Still warm from the summer sun and a cool breeze gently kissed my face. I was sitting in a bar in Soho waiting for one of my girlfriends. There was the bartender chatting to a patron who was seated behind me. Our backs were towards eachother. A couple of friends to my left getting a bit roudier than the usual atmosphere of the bar. As I continued to examine the room, I began to feel a cool sensation on my legs. I realized there was wine all over me. I stood up only to hear a voice apologizing. I turned around to see the guy who had been sitting behind me. He was cute. But the clumsy boy had spilled his beverage all over me. Usually in a situation like this I would have a sarcastic come back. However, after a few apologies I quickly softened my tone. Did I mention that he was cute. Plus he had an accent. And refer to my previous post, accents get you far in NYC. 

We both laughed off the incident and cozied up to eachother for a drink. It was all very calming and sweet. Almost like two old friends catching up. My friend ended up storming into our little bubble after a few moments. So we exchanged numbers and parted ways. 

The Interior Designer?

 This morning during my dreadful commute to work I overheard a couple’s dispute. For some reason it took me back to a memory from high school. My father, had a girlfriend or as he says, just a girl who was his friend. Regardless of his male definition behind the situation, they were emotionally and I assume physically involved.

She kept insisting my father take her to this annual Marine Corp ball. He wasn’t too interested in attending that year and especially was not too keen on the idea of taking her with him. You see my father is a relatively simple man in demeanor. He is quite funny but when he says he doesn’t want to be bothered, like myself, he means it. And he’d told this woman he did not want to be bothered. With the ball or her.
She inserted herself into his life. Even taking it as far as buying decorations for our condo. He said thank you but that it wasn’t necessary. She insisted that he allow her to redecorate. An unwilling participant my father and she began rearranging furniture and hanging pictures. It was all kind of comical if you ask me. I think one day he really got fed up with her aggressiveness. He’d called her to tell her he definitely was not going to the Marine Corp. ball this year. The night of the ball it got interesting.

We were sitting on our newly rearranged furniture and the doorbell was ringing frantically. I answered and it was her! She asked me if my father was home. I said to hold on a second. Then I told him she was here my father yelled at me not to let her in. Now, after I told her he was busy a full on Jerry Springer episode occurred outside of our building.

She began screaming my fathers name at the top of her lungs. I was pretty shocked I must say. So I decided to peek out the window. This moment still makes me chuckle. She was standing in the middle of the street, in full ballroom attire. I mean FULL attire, hair, makeup, nails, heels, and ball gown. It was a fucking sight! She also had purchased some new decorations for the house, which she was smashing in the middle of the street. She stood there waving around like a straight up nut job, crying and yelling. A tiny part of me felt bad for her. I of course had lost all respect for her some time ago. If a man says no accept it and move on. Men can be jerks but do your selves a favor and always be a lady!
Eventually I convinced my father to go outside and calm her down. Or at least call someone to pick her up. She was seriously off her rocker. Even writing this post I am not sure there is a real lesson here, besides the fact that sometimes shit happens.

Respect His Boundaries

  

 I imagine it’s hard being an attractive guy with the best intentions. There is this guy I know, Jacob. He makes his living as a male model. Jacob outside of extrodinary good looks is a down to earth good guy. However, women are constantly throwing themselves at him. Not like he is complaining about this but recently we were having a coffee and he told me he was pretty sure he had a stalker. 
Apparently a girl he hung out with one time, very casually as it was in a large group, had been driving by his house randomly during all hours of the day. Jacob is quite young and still lives with his parents. So his mom reported this to him. At first his mother was totally unaware of who was in the mysterious car that kept driving by her home. That is until one day she was doing some gardening and a 6’2″ red head approached her, asking her if Jacob was home. I laughed at this. And told him she sounds persistent and he should be flattered. Totally kidding of course. Stuff like that is only kinda okay if the guy is pursuing you with such passion. Jacob proceeded to tell me that she began texting him irrationally. Like making plans to go out on a date with him, elaborate plans. She even called a few of his friends to find out more information about him. Sounds cute right? Like O.M.G. She’s really put so much thought into this…
Well not so much. Jacob hadn’t responded to any of her messages. He told me he was confused about why she thought he’d taken such a keen liking to her. In his eyes he did no mislead the girl simply was being friendly. The saga continued at coffee with Jacob as she was consistently snapchatting him throughout our time together. We had to laugh because it was kind of crazy. Jacob told me he couldn’t believe she talked to his mom. That true to the belief, red heads have no soul. 
Me personally- I find this story incredible. Jacob has 100 stories like this. I am all for women being forthright however BOUNDARIES are so important. And there is a fine line between flattery and straight up craziness. Let’s maintain the balance please. And no need to meet the parents until you’re intentionally introduced. 
Xx

The Pissy Stripper

One of my girlfriends recently decided to enter in to the world of online dating. She decided to just try it out and downloaded Tinder. Many Tinder conversations later and after left swiping for weeks, she finally came across a certified hottie! 

They chatted for a few hours. And before she knew it; she was two bottles of wine deep and he was ringing her doorbell. Upon arrival she realized he looked very familiar. My friend asked the guy if they had met before. He informed her that he worked at the local strip joint and if she was a visitor she may have seen him swinging around his tassle on a school night. 
My friend, being the curious girl she is needed to know more. He decided to refresh  her memory, dropped his pants and let it all hang out. She was pleased and from my understanding…ravishing mediorcre sex ensued. His body was a ten but his performance didn’t make it past the first round. 
The next morning, my friend lay quietly in her thoughts. Thankful her encounter with the male stripper was over. Suddenly she heard some disturbing sounds and realized he was still in her bed. Violating her sheets with noisey farts. She freaked! Told the guy she was going to have a shower. As she was enjoying her shower he decided to join. He started peeing in the shower. My poor friend barely escaped his yellow stream. Even more disgusted she went on about proceeding with her day. Now…at this point you’d think he would have taken a hint and left. But he also took it upon himself to go to breakfast with my friend. She thought to herself that after breakfast surely he would go home. Not only did he not go home he told her about his sexual encounters with other men for money. My friend told him it was okay to be bisexual. To which he got all bent out of shape about. Exclaiming to her that he was straight. He ended up leaving around 5PM. Totally unacceptable. 
So here’s my take on it. Bodily functions like farts, burps and whatever other sounds should not be happening intentionally on the first hookup/date. If it is clearly just a booty call you do not have to go home but you have get the heck out of that persons apartment. Last point, the second you admit to sleeping with people of the same sex be it for money or pure entertainment, people will think you are bisexual or gay. So don’t get your panties in a twist because you decided to disclose this information. 
There isn’t anything wrong with taking kink to another level. But be prepared that the more information you put out there the more you open up yourself to judgement. So pick and choose how you want other to speak about you when the date is done. 

A New Kind Of Roulette

Manhattan Roulette, initially began as a way to vent the frustrations of dating in New York City. At first, it was my personal stories, later on I began to include experiences of my friends both male and female. Now, I am 7 months into a head over heels romance. I thought I wouldn’t have many stories to tell, outside of my friends experiences but it turns out I do. I have so much to say about the continued trauma of dating in Manhattan and my own experiences with my boyfriend. Yes I said it, boyfriend. I know right? Crazy.

 I was a late bloomer to say the least. Skinny, tall, glasses, braces all the makings of an American teenage angst movie. I was teased and ostracized for a long time. Dating anyone was totally out of the question. It wasn’t until I was about 17 that I had my first boyfriend. He was a total geek like myself. After we went off to college things faded away, which was fine. I dated around in college, had some interesting sexual encounters and moved to Manhattan. I would say my after college years, right now are my best. Outside of being a total babe I am also pretty in tune with people. I can read bullshit a mile away and try to lead with my head and not just emotions. Although, it does not always work out the way I want it to, I try, I try. I have some new experiences to write about. I hope your ready, it’ll be an amazing journey.

The Safe Trap

Tags

boys, cheaters, girls, nice, Relationships, Safe

I am starting to wonder if most men marry the girl they believe to be the safe bet rather than the one they’re crazy about.

I have so many girlfriends who are the hot girl, great job & domestic. Yet whenever they find out an ex has a new girlfriend the new chick is usually pretty much a plain Jane. I also have experienced this situation. Is it a self conscious thing? Do a lot of men not want their woman to get all of the attention? Marrying plain Jane would absolutely assure that. You also know that plain Jane will stay faithful. Though being the hot girl doesn’t mean slutty or dishonest. I don’t know. Just some food for thought!

The Big Baby

Tags

Advice, Baby, dating, men

For those of you who followed the series Sex and the City. You know all about Big and Carries relationship. Carrie the freelance writer with unrealistic wardrobe and relationship expectations. And Big the rich older guy. It seems like although both parties have their issues, Big was a big baby.

Should women really expect men to be at a certain maturity level because they’re a lot older than us? It seems to me the moment you get into a relationship you began to expect that person will change for you. This is the biggest misconception! You have to take that person the way they are. Just because you date an older man does not mean he has his shit together. And if you’ve decided to be with that person leave it or take it.

I recently went on a date with this guy Paul. Paul was pretty intelligent, average looking and older. It wasn’t until an hour into my sushi that I realized, Paul, was a huge child. He complained about every single thing. The weather, the forks, the damn waitress and even New York. He asked for a second date and I said no. There was no way I was sitting through any more of that mental anguish.

Tinder, Love & Care

Tags

boys, interracial, men, online dating

So recently I took a gander at tinder. It’s a dating app where you swipe left or right depending on if you like someone. I came across a guy I deemed as attractive and we matched. He seemed really hung up on race. I thought it was ridiculous. Maybe I am wrong? I’ve attached the conversation.